The truth about public speaking is no matter how good a job you do, someone is going to disapprove of either you or your argument. That is just human nature.
In a large group of people, there will always be a diversity of opinions, judgments, and reactions. Some will be positive, others will be negative.
There is no rhyme or reason to it. If you do a lousy job, some people will sympathize with you and feel for you, while others will critique you harshly. If you do a fantastic job, someone will resent your ability and might disapprove of you on that basis alone. Some people will leave early because of an emergency. Some will fall asleep because they were up all night taking care of a sick child. Therefore, it’s foolish and unrealistic to attempt to get everyone in your audience to think well of you.
More importantly, it’s the wrong type of purpose to adopt in the first place.
Remember, the essence of public speaking is to give your audience something of value. The operative word here is GIVE not GET!
The purpose of public speaking is not for you to get something (approval, fame, respect, sales, clients, etc.) from your audience. It is to give something useful to your audience.
While it may seem paradoxical, the best way to succeed as a public speaker is not to consider yourself a public speaker at all.
Many of us have distorted, exaggerated views of what successful public speakers do. We often assume that to be successful ourselves, we must strive very hard to bring forth certain idealistic qualities we presently lack.
Consequently, we struggle desperately to emulate those personal characteristics of other speakers which we wrongly believe are responsible for their public speaking success.
In other words, we try to become someone other than ourselves! We try to be a public speaker, whatever that image means to us.
PUBLIC SPEAKING is the BEST TIME to be YOURSELF!
It’s one of the few times we can fully be ourselves in the presence of others. Be bold, compassionate, silly, informative, helpful, witty . . . anything we want. Tell jokes which we don’t normally do, tell humorous or poignant stories, or do anything else that feel natural in the moment.
As a result, you’ll make much better contact with the audience. You don’t drone on and on about some uninteresting subject. Be alive, energized and fully invested in everything you say and do.
When you really get good at being yourself in front of others, you can even stand up in front of a group of people without any idea how you’re going to get across your two or three main points.
STILL HAVE FEAR OF PUBLIC SPEAKING?
Try these tricks:
1) Conduct Research.
Visit or call key participants to ask them what they expect from your presentation. That is, what do they want to learn from it? What do they already know about this topic? How will your presentation help them? Such conversations enlist these people as your allies during your presentation. It also helps you learn what people expect, so that you can deliver it. This is like collecting the answers to an exam before taking it.
2) Prepare.
Write an outline, and if possible write a script for key parts of it (such as the opening and close). Then practice giving your presentation, without reading the script until you know it so well that you can deliver it conversationally. Avoid trying to memorize a script. That makes things too complicated and difficult. Practice your speech anywhere and at any time. For example, you can talk through parts of it while jogging, working on chores, or taking a shower.
3) Rehearse.
Practice your talk in the meeting room with a group of friends, coworkers, and (if possible) your boss. Ask for their comments on how to improve your talk. Also, use this as an opportunity to become familiar with the room and any equipment, such as a projector.
4) Be the Host
Arrive early so that you can meet and greet the attendees before your presentation. Shake their hands and thank them for coming. Introduce yourself to them and engage them in small talk. (e.g., “How are you?”) Act as if they were guests coming to your party. This converts them from strangers into friends.
5) Expect Success
Fantasize doing a wonderful job. If you let nightmares run through your mind, you will scare yourself. Give yourself confidence by expecting to do well. Know that everyone wants you to do an excellent job.
Bonus Point
The key to success is being prepared. It helps you do a better job and fills you with confidence.
Good Luck, Public Speakers!